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Mother's pre-admission tests went well. It was over in about an hour. Admissions sure have changed. The doc's nurse said the procedure would be about 90 minutes. The admission's nurse said it could take up to three hours. i have a PhD in hospital sitting, but it is nice to know the long and short ends.

Daughter is causing me some stress. i'm sure she is stressed herself. The episodes she's been having are becoming more frequent. When i spoke to her on the phone last night i was really fightened. She kept losing herself. i spoke with M and he said she had been like this all day. He said in the middle of the night she was up looking for her shoes. He is so good about not letting her go out alone. i just can't bear to think of something happening to her away from home and her getting lost and confused.

Part of me wants to take that doc by the shoulders and shake her till her head rattles. If she hadn't been so slow on making the decision to see a neurologist maybe this could be all over by now. She just recently saw the neuro people at the University Hospital. My head says it's a medication problem or complication, my heart thinks all the dark things. i can't help it. i have history to prove that dark things happen. i am so afraid i am going to lose my daughter. i should not have been a parent.

Master is good. He is very understanding about my fears. He wants to be able to take care of everything for me. i know He gets frustrated when i carry on and He can't find a solution. It's really tough when we are literally half a world apart. Right now what i could use most is some snuggle time. i feel the need for skin-to-skin contact. i may not get dressed for days after i get back. And thirteen days is way way way too long a time to wai