small rant
Apr. 8th, 2003 07:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jdmkleinMy computer is giving me fits. Master says He is going to look at it and see what He can do about it. BUT i guess it is on His time, not mine. i have finally gotten a promise from Him that He will work on it on Thursday morning. yea, right!
My mood is not very good today. i was going to say i don't understand why, but i do know. It is the computer. i hate it when Master says He will do something for me, and then my problem/request is not first priority. Makes me wonder just where i come on the priority list. Most days i believe it is somewhere after, waking up, eating, working, pee-ing, shitting, reading email, looking at porn sites, petting the dog, picking His teeth, scratching His ass, changing the light bulb on the right turn signal light on His car, trimming His toenails, opening the bedroom window, taking out the trash, oh no, wait, that is my job, buying too many heads of lettuce at the market because one box of local lettuce is 30 cents cheaper than one head of u.s. lettuce, ( but don't worry, we won't eat all those heads of lettuce before about 1/2 of them go bad, so we've really saved how much money?), trying to download every single MP3 there is out there along with any and all vidoes of any type that are available, taking a shower, feeding the dog, no, no, no, that is also my job, sending me email 'funnies' where even there i am at the very bottom of the list. Oh there i am. At the bottom of the list.
Well, not really at the bottom of the list, i am more important to Him than a used and broken toothpick, three peanuts, an empty ice cream carton, a broken screw driver, and a rusty hammer.
i realize i shouldn't expect to be the first priority all the time, or maybe even any of the time, but i don't know that i ever expected to be the top half of the bottom .05% all the time.
i wonder where i would come in a non-love relationship? Perhaps this is why i have been thinking along those lines. Non-love. Perhaps i expect to be a higher priority to Him because He says He loves me. Foolish me. If He didn't profess to love me, i wouldn't expect to be placed higher on His list of important things. But He says He does, and therefore, i can't help myself having misplaced expectations.
What to do, what to do, what to do.
Or am i just being a bitch. (rhetorical question--does not require an answer)
Or am i being a bitch?
My mood is not very good today. i was going to say i don't understand why, but i do know. It is the computer. i hate it when Master says He will do something for me, and then my problem/request is not first priority. Makes me wonder just where i come on the priority list. Most days i believe it is somewhere after, waking up, eating, working, pee-ing, shitting, reading email, looking at porn sites, petting the dog, picking His teeth, scratching His ass, changing the light bulb on the right turn signal light on His car, trimming His toenails, opening the bedroom window, taking out the trash, oh no, wait, that is my job, buying too many heads of lettuce at the market because one box of local lettuce is 30 cents cheaper than one head of u.s. lettuce, ( but don't worry, we won't eat all those heads of lettuce before about 1/2 of them go bad, so we've really saved how much money?), trying to download every single MP3 there is out there along with any and all vidoes of any type that are available, taking a shower, feeding the dog, no, no, no, that is also my job, sending me email 'funnies' where even there i am at the very bottom of the list. Oh there i am. At the bottom of the list.
Well, not really at the bottom of the list, i am more important to Him than a used and broken toothpick, three peanuts, an empty ice cream carton, a broken screw driver, and a rusty hammer.
i realize i shouldn't expect to be the first priority all the time, or maybe even any of the time, but i don't know that i ever expected to be the top half of the bottom .05% all the time.
i wonder where i would come in a non-love relationship? Perhaps this is why i have been thinking along those lines. Non-love. Perhaps i expect to be a higher priority to Him because He says He loves me. Foolish me. If He didn't profess to love me, i wouldn't expect to be placed higher on His list of important things. But He says He does, and therefore, i can't help myself having misplaced expectations.
What to do, what to do, what to do.
Or am i just being a bitch. (rhetorical question--does not require an answer)
Or am i being a bitch?
