Happy Birthday my son
Apr. 3rd, 2002 10:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jdmkleinAll of a sudden i'm nervous about writing here. When i was writing in my regular old journal, You knew about it. You knew how to access it and had the right to read any entry, any time. i think i remember being nervous when i started writing that one too. i do know for certain that You read the first 50-60 pages, because i printed them out and sat beside You several nights as You read them. i know You've read some of the entries in this journal too, because i gave You the story for Easter.
i think the thing that has me nervous is that You went back some entries after the Easter story and read what i had written about You on the couch. Then that night, in bed, You made the comment about reading about Yourself being remote control challenged in this journal too. You made a joke of it, but i'm not sure that deep inside You weren't giving me a warning about what is and isn't acceptable for this medium.
You know that writing is my way of getting my head around something that is bothering me, either in my life at work or here with You. If i have to worry about saying something that will displease You, i won't be able to use this as tool. i guess i'll just have to wait and see how long it takes for You to comment on this entry. i want You to read what i write, i want Your input and comments on the things i choose to write about.
When this became the journal of my life with You, i thought i had been given permission to write anything about anything. Your comments after reading the Easter story have made me wonder if i have made a mistake. if i have to censor my words and thoughts, please let me know. There are a couple of ways we can go about this. i can put my journal into private mode, and You will be the only one to read it, i can go back to writing in my old journal, or i can stop writing. i would hate the last option.
i think the thing that has me nervous is that You went back some entries after the Easter story and read what i had written about You on the couch. Then that night, in bed, You made the comment about reading about Yourself being remote control challenged in this journal too. You made a joke of it, but i'm not sure that deep inside You weren't giving me a warning about what is and isn't acceptable for this medium.
You know that writing is my way of getting my head around something that is bothering me, either in my life at work or here with You. If i have to worry about saying something that will displease You, i won't be able to use this as tool. i guess i'll just have to wait and see how long it takes for You to comment on this entry. i want You to read what i write, i want Your input and comments on the things i choose to write about.
When this became the journal of my life with You, i thought i had been given permission to write anything about anything. Your comments after reading the Easter story have made me wonder if i have made a mistake. if i have to censor my words and thoughts, please let me know. There are a couple of ways we can go about this. i can put my journal into private mode, and You will be the only one to read it, i can go back to writing in my old journal, or i can stop writing. i would hate the last option.
