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Aug. 12th, 2004 11:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jdmkleinDid i ever mention therapists make me nervous? i have an appointment to go see two of them in the next few weeks. Mother wants me to go with her, and Sarah wants me to go with her. Why am i feeling like i am on trial here? Why am i feeling guilty?
Sarah's therapist sounded really nice over the phone, but i couldn't help but think she was judging me as we talked. She did say she thought Sarah was very bright, just not at an emotional age to match the chronological age. Sarah suffers from the loss of her father. To my way of thinking it was no big loss, but i think he was very selfish and a right cowardly bastard for doing what he did. But then i have not had much like for the man for nearly 30 years.
i told Gail, i didn't much like him, even before he died. When he first left i had really savage dreams about him. i hope this visit doesn't open up that can of worms again.
And i'm a bit concerned about the visit with Mother's counselor. Mother is going into a depression again, and i'm a bit afraid that when she knows the plan i have for Sarah after she dies, Mother may attempt to take her life. Another selfish person. She talks about it a lot lately.
Sarah's therapist sounded really nice over the phone, but i couldn't help but think she was judging me as we talked. She did say she thought Sarah was very bright, just not at an emotional age to match the chronological age. Sarah suffers from the loss of her father. To my way of thinking it was no big loss, but i think he was very selfish and a right cowardly bastard for doing what he did. But then i have not had much like for the man for nearly 30 years.
i told Gail, i didn't much like him, even before he died. When he first left i had really savage dreams about him. i hope this visit doesn't open up that can of worms again.
And i'm a bit concerned about the visit with Mother's counselor. Mother is going into a depression again, and i'm a bit afraid that when she knows the plan i have for Sarah after she dies, Mother may attempt to take her life. Another selfish person. She talks about it a lot lately.
