(no subject)

jadegirl mentioned something in her journal that i have always had trouble expressing. The feeling that love is not dynamic of the relationship. The D/s dynamic is stronger, and the one that keeps the relationship together. She wrote about the strength the D/s dynamic gives her to stay when times get awkward or tough. This is something i believe also. i am not sure how her Sir feels for her, if there is love on that side or not. i know i have seen very strong feelings for her revealed in some of his writing. My problem, if this is what it is, is that Master says He loves me.

Perhaps i'm not capable of that emotion/feeling. i would do just about anything for Him and allow Him to do everything to me but i don't honestly know if i love Him. i don't know what love is or means and i'm not sure i want to find out. Is it fair to Him that i am not able to return that feeling? i wonder if He even knows or if it is something that is missed? If my service to Him is everything He wants, is He being cheated by my not being able to love Him? Am i being dishonest by taking His love and not returning it?

i thank [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] for getting to the point of a topic i hadn't been able to reach. Not that it helps much. i believe it has wider opened the can of worms i've been playing around with in my mind. The insight isn't clearer actually in my case, but at least now i have a beginning from which to work. This requires more thought in my slow working brain.