(no subject)

Master put me on the cross for the first time today. It needs some modifcations, He agrees, but i think i responded well. i never remember what happens when we play.

i got punished today. Three hard strokes with the big cane. He did put a pillow next to me so the tip wouldn't rap. i haven't been punished for over a year. i don't remember the last time. i am ashamed.

(no subject)

Finally we got to play today. This is the first time since i've been back where we have had a designated play day. Last Wednesday afternoon when Master picked me up from work i asked to be beaten but it didn't work out. Yesterday was another day like last Wednesday and i asked again. Today, He did it. Thank Whatever! It was a long time overdue.

It didn't last long, but i guess long enough for having been such a long time without. Master finally put me to bed about 11 this mornig and let me snooze until 12:30. Then we took another nap about 2. And it's only 8 pm but i'm ready to go to bed now. i still feel shame for being punished. i don't know why i did it. And i sure don't know what tripped Master's trigger to make Him feel He needed to punish. But it happened. It won't happen again soon.

He had me wear slut make-up. i haven't done that for a long time. My eyes burn from the make-up. i've put vizene and allergy drops in them but they still burn. Master doesn't usually make me get full slut, but i think He wanted me to have time to think about what we were going to be doing, time to get me into the right mindset. It worked.

i like the cross. i like the idea of it. i like the fact that i am so tightly bound that i cannot move. It made a difference in how i reacted today. i knew i could not move, so i didn't even try. Master said my ass kept rising off the cross trying to meet whatever tool He was using. There do need some refinements to be made. i need something to hold onto with my hands. Master says i hang from the cuffs and lose circulation in my hands. He doesn't like the way it looks. So He is working on a modification of that. Maybe now that it is done He will be interested in playing more often.

It is cooling down. We turned the a/c off for sevearl hours a couple times today. It's off now. Had the windows with screens on them open today. Had to close the house up during the hot part of the day, from about 1-4, but we have the a/c off again now. We probably will sleep with it on tonight. i like a cold room to sleep in, i like the weight of blankets on me and i like being able to snuggle to Master's furnace body. In another month or so we should be able to sleep with the windows open. That will be nice.

i have to go listen to Rumsfeld's speech.