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10 days and counting
Aug. 23rd, 2002 10:51 ami know i'm setting myself up for a fall by keeping a count down of the time left before i see Master again. i'm still up in the air about whether or not to extend my stay to be with Daughter when she goes to the clinic. i have the feeling if i stay i am tempting fate and there really will be something seriously wrong again. On the other hand, i feel if i don't stay my family will accuse me, yet again, of abandoning my children. That's a pretty hard blow to the gut to take. And god forbid, if there is something wrong besides the medication issue, i'd never live down the fact that i left her to take the news by herself.
Most members of my family want to treat Daughter as if she is handicapped by her lack of sight. We have spent years trying to impress upon them that she can do anything they can do, she just uses an alternative method to achieve the same end. i wouldn't let her cut my hair or drive my car, i admit, but i wouldn't let anyone who doesn't have training in hair styling to cut my hair. And not every person in the world drives. She is an able bodied and minded adult who shares her life with some one other than her mother. She has him to lean on for comfort and support. Why should she be treated like a child when her brother would not, if he were in the same situation. She knows i'll be back if there is an emergency. She knows i will do anything i humanly can for her. She says she doesn't think it's necessary for me to stay.
On the other hand, i am her mother. No matter how difficult the job of parenting has been for me, i have very strong feelings, maternal feelings for her. She is my baby girl. i want to protect her from all the world's harm. The indecision is driving me crazy. i won't know what i'm going to do until i actually get the airline on the phone and begin talking. i don't want Daughter to think i don't trust her abilities to take care of herself. The blind have esteem issues that they have trouble addressing. i don't want to do anything to knock her back. She is competent and caring and loving and does not need any other setbacks in her life.
Ellen came to the hospital yesterday afternoon and took me out for dinner. We went to the Broom Factory. It's not as good as i remembered. It also is not a franchise place, which i appreciate mightily. i don't like franchise food. i don't like to eat at Applebee's or TGIFriday's. or any other of those kinds of restaurants. First, the menus are so blase` and usually very generic. Very little of the food is prepared fresh, and i can taste the preservatives used. The Broom Factory is a privately owned restaurant. The meals offered are out of the ordinary for around this part of the world. i don't know if it is the economy or the chef, but the meal was not up to the same standard as i had remembered. Or, i've become a food snob.
Sister is upset with me. She thinks i didn't call her soon enough after Mother was out of the recovery room. i called as soon as i got to a phone i could use, and had the number to call. About 5:30. i got his folks answering machine and left a message. When Sister called i asked if she had gotten the message i left. She said no. So whose fault is it that she didn't find out until nearly 11 P.M.?
i hate this. i'm becoming a terrible crumudgeon. All i ever write about is irritations. i make a solemn promise not to do this anymore once i am back in the land of terminal beige
Most members of my family want to treat Daughter as if she is handicapped by her lack of sight. We have spent years trying to impress upon them that she can do anything they can do, she just uses an alternative method to achieve the same end. i wouldn't let her cut my hair or drive my car, i admit, but i wouldn't let anyone who doesn't have training in hair styling to cut my hair. And not every person in the world drives. She is an able bodied and minded adult who shares her life with some one other than her mother. She has him to lean on for comfort and support. Why should she be treated like a child when her brother would not, if he were in the same situation. She knows i'll be back if there is an emergency. She knows i will do anything i humanly can for her. She says she doesn't think it's necessary for me to stay.
On the other hand, i am her mother. No matter how difficult the job of parenting has been for me, i have very strong feelings, maternal feelings for her. She is my baby girl. i want to protect her from all the world's harm. The indecision is driving me crazy. i won't know what i'm going to do until i actually get the airline on the phone and begin talking. i don't want Daughter to think i don't trust her abilities to take care of herself. The blind have esteem issues that they have trouble addressing. i don't want to do anything to knock her back. She is competent and caring and loving and does not need any other setbacks in her life.
Ellen came to the hospital yesterday afternoon and took me out for dinner. We went to the Broom Factory. It's not as good as i remembered. It also is not a franchise place, which i appreciate mightily. i don't like franchise food. i don't like to eat at Applebee's or TGIFriday's. or any other of those kinds of restaurants. First, the menus are so blase` and usually very generic. Very little of the food is prepared fresh, and i can taste the preservatives used. The Broom Factory is a privately owned restaurant. The meals offered are out of the ordinary for around this part of the world. i don't know if it is the economy or the chef, but the meal was not up to the same standard as i had remembered. Or, i've become a food snob.
Sister is upset with me. She thinks i didn't call her soon enough after Mother was out of the recovery room. i called as soon as i got to a phone i could use, and had the number to call. About 5:30. i got his folks answering machine and left a message. When Sister called i asked if she had gotten the message i left. She said no. So whose fault is it that she didn't find out until nearly 11 P.M.?
i hate this. i'm becoming a terrible crumudgeon. All i ever write about is irritations. i make a solemn promise not to do this anymore once i am back in the land of terminal beige
