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May. 13th, 2002 08:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jdmkleinGot all my 'home' work done today. Emerson is home and drives like a dream. i wonder how long that will last? The good news is that it cost nearly 100$ less than they estimated.
What does it mean to submit?
About four years ago, I would have said it meant to send something in for approval like submit your CV for consideration for a job. Now it means giving up my freedom of choice. I want to submit to Him in every aspect of my life. I sometimes wonder if I am bothering Him when I ask Him what I should wear when we go out or what He wants to eat for dinner. Or if I should put on makeup for the day. It is second nature to me now to ask for permission to go to the bathroom am afraid I will ask my family for the same permission when I am home this summer. In my home life with Him, my private life, I want Him to have complete control, but I don't want to be a bother.
Another corner of submission is being a part of Him. Being in His life. If He is in one room, I want to be there too. He doesn't have to speak to me; just being near Him gives me joy. Knowing that He doesn't mind my presence makes me happy.
I've been a long time alone. I don't have a clue what that means. I'm like a cat. I don't have to be touched; I just want to be near.
Submission means trust. I trust Master to know what is right for me. I trust He will stop before I go too far. I trust that He will not let me wander in that space too far. That He will grab me and bring me back before I beyond the point of no return, before I get to the point where I might be emotionally in danger or a danger to myself. I trust that He will be able to read my face and body and how I react to His ministrations and stop when it is time. I trust He will know to stop before He goes too far. I have given Him my control. I trust Him with my life.
What does it mean to submit?
About four years ago, I would have said it meant to send something in for approval like submit your CV for consideration for a job. Now it means giving up my freedom of choice. I want to submit to Him in every aspect of my life. I sometimes wonder if I am bothering Him when I ask Him what I should wear when we go out or what He wants to eat for dinner. Or if I should put on makeup for the day. It is second nature to me now to ask for permission to go to the bathroom am afraid I will ask my family for the same permission when I am home this summer. In my home life with Him, my private life, I want Him to have complete control, but I don't want to be a bother.
Another corner of submission is being a part of Him. Being in His life. If He is in one room, I want to be there too. He doesn't have to speak to me; just being near Him gives me joy. Knowing that He doesn't mind my presence makes me happy.
I've been a long time alone. I don't have a clue what that means. I'm like a cat. I don't have to be touched; I just want to be near.
Submission means trust. I trust Master to know what is right for me. I trust He will stop before I go too far. I trust that He will not let me wander in that space too far. That He will grab me and bring me back before I beyond the point of no return, before I get to the point where I might be emotionally in danger or a danger to myself. I trust that He will be able to read my face and body and how I react to His ministrations and stop when it is time. I trust He will know to stop before He goes too far. I have given Him my control. I trust Him with my life.
