some of this and some of that
Oct. 16th, 2003 07:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jdmkleini wonder if i am harboring much anger. Every once in awhile i have a series of really horrid dreams. They don't come often, and certainly not regularly, perhaps i have had them 5 times in my life.
The dreams aren't always the same, except in the violence and blood and reality of them. The first one i remember having was shortly after i sent my children's father away. i was taking a nap one afternoon and had a dream that was so vivid and real and horrible that when i woke up crying, i wasn't sure it was a dream or not. i called the place where he was working and asked if he was alright. Those people thought i was strange before the divorce so the phone call barely phased them i think.
Several years later i had another one about him. Again, very bloody, very violent, very horrid. There have been others since. Right after i came back from vacation i started having them again. This time not just one, i have had two or three. They are still bloody and violent and horrid, and one was about my mother, another about Master.
It is unusual for me to remember dreams at all, and i don't actually remember what is happening in the dream. i wake up crying, tears streaming down my face, and my recollection is that something horrid has happened. i had to reach over and touch Master to make sure the awakening wasn't the dream. i didn't call home to speak to my mother, because i has spoken to her a few hours before on the computer. It is very unsettling.
With the exception of the kid's father, these are all people i care very deeply about. Why would i have such dreams of them, i wonder. A rhetorical question.
On to more cheery stuff
It was a beautiful day today. We had the a/c off nearly all day long. Master and i went out to pick up the cushion for the chaise, got some things at the hardware store, and He let me buy some new hair stuff. We looked for a new table cloth, but had no luck, He wanted some electrical things, but couldn't find exactly what He wanted. It was a nice day, but not so very profitable. Don't know if that is the word i want.
We came home and i fixed lunch and then He wanted me to take a nap on the bed. i hate napping on the bed because i sleep too soundly. He asked when i wanted to be wakened, and i asked Him to just let me sleep until i was done. He didn't, and i woke up hard and grouchy. i think He now understands that i should be left to nap on the couch.
Master cooked dinner tonight. We had blackened chicken. Very plain meal, with a nice fruit salad, and vegetables. The exquisite part came from the company at table and the view. Which reminds me, we did see something unusual again in the night sky. There was a brilliant light, very high up, but at first glance one would think it was a light on an airplane. Then it got dimmer and dimmer and finally disappeared. i am not describing it well, but it is the third time we have seen this. One other time, there were several together at one spot. And then they just disappeared.
The dreams aren't always the same, except in the violence and blood and reality of them. The first one i remember having was shortly after i sent my children's father away. i was taking a nap one afternoon and had a dream that was so vivid and real and horrible that when i woke up crying, i wasn't sure it was a dream or not. i called the place where he was working and asked if he was alright. Those people thought i was strange before the divorce so the phone call barely phased them i think.
Several years later i had another one about him. Again, very bloody, very violent, very horrid. There have been others since. Right after i came back from vacation i started having them again. This time not just one, i have had two or three. They are still bloody and violent and horrid, and one was about my mother, another about Master.
It is unusual for me to remember dreams at all, and i don't actually remember what is happening in the dream. i wake up crying, tears streaming down my face, and my recollection is that something horrid has happened. i had to reach over and touch Master to make sure the awakening wasn't the dream. i didn't call home to speak to my mother, because i has spoken to her a few hours before on the computer. It is very unsettling.
With the exception of the kid's father, these are all people i care very deeply about. Why would i have such dreams of them, i wonder. A rhetorical question.
On to more cheery stuff
It was a beautiful day today. We had the a/c off nearly all day long. Master and i went out to pick up the cushion for the chaise, got some things at the hardware store, and He let me buy some new hair stuff. We looked for a new table cloth, but had no luck, He wanted some electrical things, but couldn't find exactly what He wanted. It was a nice day, but not so very profitable. Don't know if that is the word i want.
We came home and i fixed lunch and then He wanted me to take a nap on the bed. i hate napping on the bed because i sleep too soundly. He asked when i wanted to be wakened, and i asked Him to just let me sleep until i was done. He didn't, and i woke up hard and grouchy. i think He now understands that i should be left to nap on the couch.
Master cooked dinner tonight. We had blackened chicken. Very plain meal, with a nice fruit salad, and vegetables. The exquisite part came from the company at table and the view. Which reminds me, we did see something unusual again in the night sky. There was a brilliant light, very high up, but at first glance one would think it was a light on an airplane. Then it got dimmer and dimmer and finally disappeared. i am not describing it well, but it is the third time we have seen this. One other time, there were several together at one spot. And then they just disappeared.
