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May. 4th, 2002 09:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jdmkleinIt just happened today. i don't generally initiate sexual encounters with Master, but it has been such a long time.
Master went in after work to take a cool down/relax/get outta work mode bath. He didn't call me to bathe Him, but i got in there just about the time He was getting out. i asked if i could dry Him, and He said i could. He has such a cute butt, and i was sitting on the toilet and it was just there and i couldn't help myself. i spread His cheeks and began using my tongue on His ass. He groaned and leaned forward onto the sink so i could have better entry. He let me go a while, and then stopped me.
He turned so i could dry His front, and there was His cock, just at the right level, just begging to be sucked. So, without even asking permission, i began. He let me go a bit, then told me to stop. i said we hadn't been having sex often enough for me, and it was time to change that. i said i was needy and wanted to be taken care of.
As i said those things, i was nervous that He would ask me just who i thought i was making those kinds of statements. But He didn't. He took me to the bedroom. He laid on the bed, and i put some medicine in His eyes, the dust of the desert affects them. He was laying on the bed, His nipples just right there at my mouth and again, i couldn't help myself, i began sucking on them. He let me go a bit, then pushed my head down to His cock.
i gave Him my best whore suck and when He was ready to cum He thrust His cock deep into my throat and held my head tight against His belly while He pumped and pumped and pumped and pumped and spewed His cum deep in my throat. i came with Him, but i was still in need. He told me to clean Him, i did my best.
He got up off the bed, telling me to lay on my belly. He came back with the dressage. He flicked it over my ass, on the back of my thighs, i spread my legs wider, opening my cunt to Him. He flicked the dressage over my clit and i was lost. i know He used the black belt on me at some point, it was on the floor beside the bed when i woke up.
He turned me over onto my back and allowed me to masterbate while He finger fucked my cunt and my ass. i was lost again. My nipples are sore, i think He must have played with them. My ass is tender even now. The thought of tonight's bath doesn't excite me. i think He clawed my back, this is something relatively new for us. i discovered it by accident. After a flogging or whipping or being paddled, the feeling of His fingernails clawing over my skin is so erotic and exotic and enjoyable. It's difficult to explain. My nipples are hard, and my cunt is wet, just remembering.
This is something that is going to have to happen again, and not so long from now. It seems since Master got back from the states, things have taken a slight downward slide as to the physical aspect of our life. At first i wondered if it was me, if He had grown tired of me. Then i wondered if it was Him, if something physical was going on with Him. Then i decided we have just reached another level of our relationship.
He has always said He was more interested in the mind control aspect of this kind of a relationship. i know He is not as much as sadist as i am a masochist. i know He enjoys inflicting erotic pain on me, but i know He enjoys it only because He likes how i respond, if that makes sense. If i were not such a pain slut, there would be very little pain in my life. (Well, hey! there isn't much now is there?)
No, there isn't, and now i realize why. He is more sure of my level of surrender, enslavement to Him. He is like a dope dealer working a mark. He has given me just enough of what i crave to keep me coming back for more. Now He knows i'm addicted to Him, it, this life we have together. He knows it's not so important now to satisfy my desires. He knows i can't leave this. And therefore, He knows He can do whatever He wants and do it with impunity. He knows i am here to serve Him, no matter what, no matter how.
i crave the kind of thing that happened today. It was a physical need, my body needed this as surely as my body needs water and food. But Master knows, that i will suffer willingly from the deprivation of it. It no longer matters what i need or want. It no longer matters. It just doesn't matter.
Going back to proof my work, it rambles. It will make little sense to anyone who reads it. It has no organization, the grammar is not the best, the sentence structure sucks in some places. It is pure stream of consciousness. It doesn't matter. Maybe i will revise it at another time. Try to make it more understandable, but right now i like the way it is. It is as disjointed as i feel now. i am falling deeper and deeper into the hole. And i'm not afraid.
Master went in after work to take a cool down/relax/get outta work mode bath. He didn't call me to bathe Him, but i got in there just about the time He was getting out. i asked if i could dry Him, and He said i could. He has such a cute butt, and i was sitting on the toilet and it was just there and i couldn't help myself. i spread His cheeks and began using my tongue on His ass. He groaned and leaned forward onto the sink so i could have better entry. He let me go a while, and then stopped me.
He turned so i could dry His front, and there was His cock, just at the right level, just begging to be sucked. So, without even asking permission, i began. He let me go a bit, then told me to stop. i said we hadn't been having sex often enough for me, and it was time to change that. i said i was needy and wanted to be taken care of.
As i said those things, i was nervous that He would ask me just who i thought i was making those kinds of statements. But He didn't. He took me to the bedroom. He laid on the bed, and i put some medicine in His eyes, the dust of the desert affects them. He was laying on the bed, His nipples just right there at my mouth and again, i couldn't help myself, i began sucking on them. He let me go a bit, then pushed my head down to His cock.
i gave Him my best whore suck and when He was ready to cum He thrust His cock deep into my throat and held my head tight against His belly while He pumped and pumped and pumped and pumped and spewed His cum deep in my throat. i came with Him, but i was still in need. He told me to clean Him, i did my best.
He got up off the bed, telling me to lay on my belly. He came back with the dressage. He flicked it over my ass, on the back of my thighs, i spread my legs wider, opening my cunt to Him. He flicked the dressage over my clit and i was lost. i know He used the black belt on me at some point, it was on the floor beside the bed when i woke up.
He turned me over onto my back and allowed me to masterbate while He finger fucked my cunt and my ass. i was lost again. My nipples are sore, i think He must have played with them. My ass is tender even now. The thought of tonight's bath doesn't excite me. i think He clawed my back, this is something relatively new for us. i discovered it by accident. After a flogging or whipping or being paddled, the feeling of His fingernails clawing over my skin is so erotic and exotic and enjoyable. It's difficult to explain. My nipples are hard, and my cunt is wet, just remembering.
This is something that is going to have to happen again, and not so long from now. It seems since Master got back from the states, things have taken a slight downward slide as to the physical aspect of our life. At first i wondered if it was me, if He had grown tired of me. Then i wondered if it was Him, if something physical was going on with Him. Then i decided we have just reached another level of our relationship.
He has always said He was more interested in the mind control aspect of this kind of a relationship. i know He is not as much as sadist as i am a masochist. i know He enjoys inflicting erotic pain on me, but i know He enjoys it only because He likes how i respond, if that makes sense. If i were not such a pain slut, there would be very little pain in my life. (Well, hey! there isn't much now is there?)
No, there isn't, and now i realize why. He is more sure of my level of surrender, enslavement to Him. He is like a dope dealer working a mark. He has given me just enough of what i crave to keep me coming back for more. Now He knows i'm addicted to Him, it, this life we have together. He knows it's not so important now to satisfy my desires. He knows i can't leave this. And therefore, He knows He can do whatever He wants and do it with impunity. He knows i am here to serve Him, no matter what, no matter how.
i crave the kind of thing that happened today. It was a physical need, my body needed this as surely as my body needs water and food. But Master knows, that i will suffer willingly from the deprivation of it. It no longer matters what i need or want. It no longer matters. It just doesn't matter.
Going back to proof my work, it rambles. It will make little sense to anyone who reads it. It has no organization, the grammar is not the best, the sentence structure sucks in some places. It is pure stream of consciousness. It doesn't matter. Maybe i will revise it at another time. Try to make it more understandable, but right now i like the way it is. It is as disjointed as i feel now. i am falling deeper and deeper into the hole. And i'm not afraid.
