(no subject)
May. 27th, 2003 07:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jdmkleinNobody loves me,
Everybody hates me,
i think i'll go eat worms.
Great big fat ones,
Little bitty skinny ones,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.
i got a message from Master that He has his daughter's computer back up and running. Now i think He is intentionally coming online at times He knows i won't be around. Just piss me off. And my daughter, little miss gad-about. i have no idea when she is going to be back online. And apparently Mother has forgotten about me too. Oh boo hoo. Where are those darned worms?
i found a healthy recipe for chocolate cake. Only problem was i didn't have any tofu, so i substituted sour cream, and for the non-dairy choco-chips i used real ones. But the thought was nice. If i ever get to a place where i can buy health food, i'll substitute the healthy choices for the non-healthy ones. The cake is made with couscous. It looks like it is going to be good. i've been dying to make it, and tonight it got the better of me. i will take a taste tonight, and if it turned out as good as i hope, i will take most of it into the office tomorrow. Not that they deserve a treat, but i want my secretary to see it, and tell me if couscous is the same thing an Indian sweet is made from. A long story signifying nothing, that.
There is a storm again, more sand. It isn't really humid, but the sky is covered in clouds. On the desert today it almost felt like rain. Smoochie poochie was having a grand time shepherding his herd of one volvo. i pretend to wander off the path, just to give him some practice with his herding technique.
i keep thinking it is time to make a change in my life. And wondering why i am unable to do so. If i can take 90 minutes out of my day for a dumb animal, drive him 40 km out to the desert, let him run, and drive 40 km back, why can't i motivate myself to exercise for 1/3 of that time each day? i don't understand. Now is a great time to swim. Early mornings, warm, but not hot. i'm up. i feel good. i can't seem to get my suit on and push that elevator button to go down to the pool. What is my problem? Am i not worth more than some darned dog? i love to swim. Swimming takes me to a peaceful and calm inner place. Sort of a wet subspace. The tat on my shoulder is to remind me to breathe when i swim. i love it. It is the one exercise that makes me feel tall and long legged and graceful. i don't sweat when i swim. My joints don't hurt while i'm swiming or after i'm finished. i can get an endorphin rush. i just can't get to the pool.
i rationalize that i will start tomorrow. But we all know what 'they' say about tomorrow. rationalize that i will be swimming in a sand puddle because of all the storms lately. But i looked at the pool the other night. It is clean. i say i don't want to be breathing sandy air while i swim. This is the same sandy air i breathe while i drive, work, sleep, eat. At least if i were swimming i would be offsetting the bad effects of the sand somewhat. What is my matter?
i believe i am having hallucinations. Master is messaging me. i'm in heaven. Never did like worms anyway.
Everybody hates me,
i think i'll go eat worms.
Great big fat ones,
Little bitty skinny ones,
Oh how they wiggle and squirm.
i got a message from Master that He has his daughter's computer back up and running. Now i think He is intentionally coming online at times He knows i won't be around. Just piss me off. And my daughter, little miss gad-about. i have no idea when she is going to be back online. And apparently Mother has forgotten about me too. Oh boo hoo. Where are those darned worms?
i found a healthy recipe for chocolate cake. Only problem was i didn't have any tofu, so i substituted sour cream, and for the non-dairy choco-chips i used real ones. But the thought was nice. If i ever get to a place where i can buy health food, i'll substitute the healthy choices for the non-healthy ones. The cake is made with couscous. It looks like it is going to be good. i've been dying to make it, and tonight it got the better of me. i will take a taste tonight, and if it turned out as good as i hope, i will take most of it into the office tomorrow. Not that they deserve a treat, but i want my secretary to see it, and tell me if couscous is the same thing an Indian sweet is made from. A long story signifying nothing, that.
There is a storm again, more sand. It isn't really humid, but the sky is covered in clouds. On the desert today it almost felt like rain. Smoochie poochie was having a grand time shepherding his herd of one volvo. i pretend to wander off the path, just to give him some practice with his herding technique.
i keep thinking it is time to make a change in my life. And wondering why i am unable to do so. If i can take 90 minutes out of my day for a dumb animal, drive him 40 km out to the desert, let him run, and drive 40 km back, why can't i motivate myself to exercise for 1/3 of that time each day? i don't understand. Now is a great time to swim. Early mornings, warm, but not hot. i'm up. i feel good. i can't seem to get my suit on and push that elevator button to go down to the pool. What is my problem? Am i not worth more than some darned dog? i love to swim. Swimming takes me to a peaceful and calm inner place. Sort of a wet subspace. The tat on my shoulder is to remind me to breathe when i swim. i love it. It is the one exercise that makes me feel tall and long legged and graceful. i don't sweat when i swim. My joints don't hurt while i'm swiming or after i'm finished. i can get an endorphin rush. i just can't get to the pool.
i rationalize that i will start tomorrow. But we all know what 'they' say about tomorrow. rationalize that i will be swimming in a sand puddle because of all the storms lately. But i looked at the pool the other night. It is clean. i say i don't want to be breathing sandy air while i swim. This is the same sandy air i breathe while i drive, work, sleep, eat. At least if i were swimming i would be offsetting the bad effects of the sand somewhat. What is my matter?
i believe i am having hallucinations. Master is messaging me. i'm in heaven. Never did like worms anyway.
