The Little Book of Important Things to Remember

It seems last night I may have had a panic attack. I was sitting in the living room with Sarah and for no good reason that I can figure I suddenly felt like I wanted to cry. Not a weepy kind of cry, a full blown loud wailing, tears streaming, difficulty breathing kind of cry. My stomach was sour, my arms and legs were jittery, and I have no idea why. Everything is good with the family, although I do miss Kelly. Sarah is good.
Miss Kitty is good. It lasted about 20 minutes. I was able to not give into the feeling of wanting to cry, Sarah doesn't need that kind of stress. I did a deep cleansing breathing exercise and it seemed to help.

Maybe it is the state of the world that is throwing me for a loop. The horrible man in the White House, all the horrible people he has appointed to his cabinet. He smug, no common sense son, son-in-law, and daughter playing the role of president. His wife, who seems to not want to be there.

And then there is the rest of the world. Acid throwing attacks in London. The constant and forever unease in the Middle East, this whole thing with police officers and their guns, hell, this whole thing about guns. I don't want to believe it is the end of times, but given the climate in the world today, I certainly want to be gone before the end of times really comes.

Actually, I am not truly happy with myself. I have become a fat, lazy couch-potato and I can't seem to talk myself out of it. I have stopped going to the gym, I have stopped swimming, I have stopped going anywhere that is not absolutely necessary. I am becoming a hermit. Or, worse yet, my mother. Things have got to change.

Had my second call about the Alzheimer's protocol I am involved in. It could last up to a year if I want it to. I think I might.

Got a phishing email today trying to get info on my paypal account. Being an English teacher, I noticed the grammar mistakes and call customer service. I was told that I was right, there is nothing wrong with my account. Sent the email to them and they will take care of it.

Sarah and I are going to LaCrosse WI tonight so we can go to Jaden's hockey tournament tomorrow. A weekend away from home is fun, but I am guessing we both will be anxious to go home. Jaden can be a bit much over a long period of time.

3. Capricorn Habits

Capricorns tend to be very shy, they prefer to be with others whom they've known for a while such as close friends and family. They also tend to be extremely stubborn which may be because they are very pessimistic about the world around them.

This makes it hard for them to summon motivation deep within themselves because they would rather not be apart of whatever is happening to begin with.

Ice storom hit overnight. Most everything is closeod because of it. Sarah and I are supposed to drive to CR to meet Eileen and Jaden who are flyinf up from Dallas. Time will telll if I want to make that trip or have them stay in a motel till tomorrow.

The eye surgery went well. I keep reaching for my glasses and then realize I don't need them anymore. Back today for a quick look/see at the Dr.office and then eye drops for about until ever. The 23th I will get the second eye done. w00t!

I have meditated each day and am feeling good about it. Last night, however, I didn't have a chance for me until I went to bed. I tried meditating lying flat on my bed. I got 5 minutes in, but was very uncomfortable during the whole time. Not physically uncomfortable, but mentally. I had a difficult time feeling good about meditating. Will not be doing that again. Mornings are best for me. Weekday mornings there is no problem, it is the weekends that are going to be a problem.

It is becoming easier.

I am fit to have eye surgery next Monday and again two weeks following.

This is per meditation instruction:
fold sheets
put towels in dryer
one last 'clean up' load to wash and dry
get tub from garage to put Christmas decorations away.
Check to see if there is a hockey game both nights this weekend.

Not much more to say

Was surprised when I checked my bank account to find the SS check had arrived. I was under the impression the payment dates were to change and my check would come later in the month. Don't know what to think about this. Am not complaining that it has arrived, just wondering what checks will be coming on the later date.

Did the meditation thing again. I think I am doing okfine. Can get through 3 minutes with minimum of outside distraction. It's the inside distraction that consistently knocks me off balance. Will keep working.

Am trying to figure out how to insert a photo from facebook. Not having a fantastic time at it. It is a birthday photo with my sister and brother. Our family on my birthday. I think it is an especially nice photo, which is something I rarely think. And I can't figure how to get it from there to here. Will keep trying.

Let something you do already trigger a tiny step to something new, i.e. After I brush my teeth, I will floss one tooth; after I pee, I will drink a glass of water.