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Jun. 1st, 2024 01:23 pmHello Patrick,
I am writing to you today to try to end this gulf between us. I want to apologize for anything I may have said or done to hurt you and Megan.
I realize the mistake I made at Thanksgiving last year hurt you. I would like to explain. Since I have retired, I have become a recluse. I seldom go out anymore unless it is to see Sarah or other essential appointments. I should have explained to you at the time, my reason for not coming. I get anxious when I am around large groups of people I don’t know. It is difficult for me to make conversation with strangers. I was also concerned for Sarah, being in a place that is unfamiliar, the new remodeling and steps are not a good thing for either Sarah or me. I can get down them, but am not able to get up them. I believed that several of your other guests would be spending time down there smoking. I know that both Megan’s parents are smokers as well as Megan and you. I know you were proud ad happy to show off your ‘new’ place and I am truly sorry that I hurt you.
There are other things I would like to discuss with you. I know that having you go to Taiwan with me made a big change in your life. But I asked you to stay with me for two years. After that we would come home. Very close to the end of that 2-year period we went out to dinner together. I asked you then if you wanted to go home. Without hesitation you said you wanted to stay in Taiwan and graduate there. So we did. You even stayed a year longer, after you graduated, to work at Morrison to earn some money for school. I believed you enjoyed your time in Taiwan after you got over the culture shock.
I don’t know how you can say I missed 30 years of family holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving. I was not out of the country for even 20 years and once I made arrangements at Tunghai to be able to come home. Where do you remember I was those other ten years?
You said that the only time I call you is when I need something fixed here at the apartment. I apologize if I made you think I only needed you as a handyman. When I came home in ’08 I did not want to become a nosy, interfering mother. I tried to stay out of your life. I would be happy to call you every day to see what is going on in your life.
You said that I talk to Sarah every day. That is right. She is deteriorating and needs to have family contact. I am the only member of the family she gets calls from. I am the only one who visits her. She can no longer leave her room without a staff person to walk with her. Her seizures are coming more often and she is having more falls. It hurts me to see these things happening to her. She may soon have to be in a wheel chair. She isn’t supposed to go to the toilet, which is a part of the room, without help. I talk to her every day, because no other family member does.
I made the statement that I would love Megan because you love her. That is all I meant. No mother thinks there is a woman good enough for her son. Maybe that is what prompted the words. I apologize if that hurt you or her.
There were other words between us, mostly in the form of texts, that caused pain in both our hearts. I was crushed when I discovered you had blocked me from your Facebook account. I felt there was some connection when I could see your posts. I miss you, Patrick. You are my son and I am so very proud of the man you are. Please forgive me. I am so sorry I hurt you. I truly am. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? I will be saddened if we can’t return to our old relationship, but if we can have some contact my heart would be lighter.
I am writing to you today to try to end this gulf between us. I want to apologize for anything I may have said or done to hurt you and Megan.
I realize the mistake I made at Thanksgiving last year hurt you. I would like to explain. Since I have retired, I have become a recluse. I seldom go out anymore unless it is to see Sarah or other essential appointments. I should have explained to you at the time, my reason for not coming. I get anxious when I am around large groups of people I don’t know. It is difficult for me to make conversation with strangers. I was also concerned for Sarah, being in a place that is unfamiliar, the new remodeling and steps are not a good thing for either Sarah or me. I can get down them, but am not able to get up them. I believed that several of your other guests would be spending time down there smoking. I know that both Megan’s parents are smokers as well as Megan and you. I know you were proud ad happy to show off your ‘new’ place and I am truly sorry that I hurt you.
There are other things I would like to discuss with you. I know that having you go to Taiwan with me made a big change in your life. But I asked you to stay with me for two years. After that we would come home. Very close to the end of that 2-year period we went out to dinner together. I asked you then if you wanted to go home. Without hesitation you said you wanted to stay in Taiwan and graduate there. So we did. You even stayed a year longer, after you graduated, to work at Morrison to earn some money for school. I believed you enjoyed your time in Taiwan after you got over the culture shock.
I don’t know how you can say I missed 30 years of family holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving. I was not out of the country for even 20 years and once I made arrangements at Tunghai to be able to come home. Where do you remember I was those other ten years?
You said that the only time I call you is when I need something fixed here at the apartment. I apologize if I made you think I only needed you as a handyman. When I came home in ’08 I did not want to become a nosy, interfering mother. I tried to stay out of your life. I would be happy to call you every day to see what is going on in your life.
You said that I talk to Sarah every day. That is right. She is deteriorating and needs to have family contact. I am the only member of the family she gets calls from. I am the only one who visits her. She can no longer leave her room without a staff person to walk with her. Her seizures are coming more often and she is having more falls. It hurts me to see these things happening to her. She may soon have to be in a wheel chair. She isn’t supposed to go to the toilet, which is a part of the room, without help. I talk to her every day, because no other family member does.
I made the statement that I would love Megan because you love her. That is all I meant. No mother thinks there is a woman good enough for her son. Maybe that is what prompted the words. I apologize if that hurt you or her.
There were other words between us, mostly in the form of texts, that caused pain in both our hearts. I was crushed when I discovered you had blocked me from your Facebook account. I felt there was some connection when I could see your posts. I miss you, Patrick. You are my son and I am so very proud of the man you are. Please forgive me. I am so sorry I hurt you. I truly am. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? I will be saddened if we can’t return to our old relationship, but if we can have some contact my heart would be lighter.
