Jul. 20th, 2017

It seems last night I may have had a panic attack. I was sitting in the living room with Sarah and for no good reason that I can figure I suddenly felt like I wanted to cry. Not a weepy kind of cry, a full blown loud wailing, tears streaming, difficulty breathing kind of cry. My stomach was sour, my arms and legs were jittery, and I have no idea why. Everything is good with the family, although I do miss Kelly. Sarah is good.
Miss Kitty is good. It lasted about 20 minutes. I was able to not give into the feeling of wanting to cry, Sarah doesn't need that kind of stress. I did a deep cleansing breathing exercise and it seemed to help.

Maybe it is the state of the world that is throwing me for a loop. The horrible man in the White House, all the horrible people he has appointed to his cabinet. He smug, no common sense son, son-in-law, and daughter playing the role of president. His wife, who seems to not want to be there.

And then there is the rest of the world. Acid throwing attacks in London. The constant and forever unease in the Middle East, this whole thing with police officers and their guns, hell, this whole thing about guns. I don't want to believe it is the end of times, but given the climate in the world today, I certainly want to be gone before the end of times really comes.

Actually, I am not truly happy with myself. I have become a fat, lazy couch-potato and I can't seem to talk myself out of it. I have stopped going to the gym, I have stopped swimming, I have stopped going anywhere that is not absolutely necessary. I am becoming a hermit. Or, worse yet, my mother. Things have got to change.

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Julia Klein

June 2024

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