18 and counting

i had a wonderful day yesterday. i spent the whole day with Ellen. It was fantastic. Everyone should have a friend for 42 years.

We went to the lake yesterday. We took a picnic lunch. Not the ususal, we bought a sub sandwich to share, took a bottle of wine, and Pammy's strawberries and some cookies. We rented a paddle boat for an hour and spent a wonderful 60 minutes drifting around the lake.
Since it was the middle of the week, there weren't too many people about. A couple fishing boats and us. Some people fishing off the shore and one family of picnickers. We watched turtles enjoying the day, and saw fish jump. We should have counted the dragon flies. i had forgetten all the colors they come in. The sky was the color i remember as a child and the clouds were as white and puffy.

When i was young, we would lay in the sand and watch the clouds. i always wanted a winter coat the color of the sky, with white 'fur' on the collar and cuffs and hem the color and consistancy of the clouds. And a hat with the cloud trim and a muff. i just realized what a princess i wanted to be. My vision of me was blonde and blue eyed, white tights and black patent leather maryjanes, the blue winter ensemble. i must have been about 10 because that is the age i see in my mind now.

i wonder if little girls still do that? Do they have the time to just lay back and do nothing but watch the world turn? Or are they too busy going to dance class and swimming class and drama class and pottery class and mommy gym and play dates and movies and compputer class and piano lessons and and. i know progress is good, and many of the things kinds are able to do today weren't available to us when i was young. i wonder, though, if these kids will have the same innocent easy good memories we had.

After the paddle boat trip we went to another area of the park and sat on a bench by the lake to eat. We watched two white birds we couldn't identify and a great gray heron. They are beautiful. We talked of life and death and children and sex and spouses and where we want to be in five years and made a death pact. Ellen's mother died of complications of Alzheimer's. She doesn't want to put her family through the same hell she went while her mother was dying. When she gets to the point where the quality of her life is no longer something she can endure, i will help her get out of it. It is the least i can do for someone who has been there for me everytime since 7th grade.

One of the best things about my friendship with Ellen is that John is included in the package. She knows how much i adore him, and so does he. And they let me have my little fantasy.

i think Mother needed my day away as much as i did. She stayed in bed until after 10. Nothing wrong, i asked, not sick or anything, she just didn't want to get up. She went shopping and ran a few errands. Told me i had to take care of dinner for myself if i was hungry. She had hoppin' john. She bought some bing cherries. We are going to have one heck of a good fruit salad tonight

for August 15

My friend Ellen. She is a truly good person. i can only aspire to be like her. It will never happen, i'm not that good.

We went to the lake yesterday and saw some big white birds. At first we thought they might be swans, but even from a distance they didn't look right. Then we wondered if they were storks or herons, but it didn't appear that their legs were long enough. They had long necks and huge bills. They flew away and we saw black tips under their wings. About 15 minutes later a flock of over 100 appeared in the sky. The formation they flew was amazing. It wasn't the traditional V wedge shape, more like a spiralling circle. At one point in the spiral they would almost disappear in the sky, then en mass the sky would turn brilliant with their white as they flew into the sun. It was one of the most beautiful things i have seen in a long time. Then the whole flock disappeared.

When i got home i told Mother about it. She said we had seen pelicans. There is a certain kind of pelican that migrates over iowa each year. i called Ellen to tell her, and she said, she thought they might be pelicans, but didn't want to appear stoopid, i said the same thing. DUH!

The final good thing:
That special Iowa summer day. The sky is the right color, the clouds are the right kind. The temp is perfect as is the location. The companion is the second best person in your life. After a day like that a person can conquer the world

today

Got some good news and some scary news today. Actually there is only scary news. Daughter saw the doc again today. Her meds for seizures is well within the therapeutic range. Unfortunately, it is not controlling the seizures. Doesn't matter how well within the range, if it isn't working there is some problem. So, she will be referred to a neurologist. i hope the appointment can be before i leave. We do not have good feelings about neurologists. But, she cannot continue to live her life in fear of a seizure. She was assertive when speaking to the doc. She made it clear that something more must be done. Finally, the doc listened.

My new rings came today. Larger gage, but still small. There are 6 rings. i have only 4 piercings. There is also a barbell. i am nervous about this. What is the reason for the other two rings? And why the barbell? What does Master have in His mind