a minor rant

Sometimes I wonder just how much nagging I can do. I ask Master for something or that I need help with something or something needs to be done and Master says He'll do it. And then it doesn't get done. He forgets or puts it out of His mind. For example, one of the labia rings got a little out of shape, I have no idea how. I asked Master if He would straighten it, because it was a bit painful. He said yes. A week goes by, nothing. I'm being pinched, and uncomfortable but I don't know if I should ask again or wait or what. Another day goes by and I asked again. He said He would, again nothing. The next day I ask again. Finally I ask Him how much I should nag about stuff like this. Finally it gets taken care of. I would do it myself, but this particular problem is something I can't get to. It takes another person.

He says things like 'maybe' or 'I'm thinking about…..' or 'Sometime' and then nothing happens. Sometimes I think He doesn't want to hurt my feelings. Or sometimes I think He really means it, but then gets side tracked and forgets. I know it isn't intentional, I think, I know. I tell Him not to tease me, not to get my hopes up. He says He wouldn't do that, and then He forgets. I guess these things aren't as important to Him as they are to me. I just wish He wouldn't. I know His intentions are good, but I wish He wouldn't.

Another example, about 6 weeks ago He said He was going to order new nipple rings and labia rings. Yesterday, when He finally straightened the labia ring, I asked if He ever ordered the new rings. I'm afraid I'll lose a bead on the nipple rings or the labia ones. The nipple rings I can replace, but not the labia. Oh, shit, sez He, I forgot. And then there come the excuses. I guess I don't mind the forgetfulness as much as the excuses. They aren't really, they are just lame.

This isn't a real rant, well it is. For the most part my life with Master is excellent. There are a few little things that I am not so easily able to assimilate. It hurts my feelings. And right now I'm having trouble getting over it.

I think I know the reason I'm having these feelings. It's almost time for me to leave Master for the summer. I think I'm trying to make him angry so it won't hurt so much when I leave. That isn't exactly what I mean, but it's close. I'm trying to test Him, to see if He really feels about me the way He says He does.

I'm done. And I don't care if He does read it.