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My feelings are mixed by what I read and hear about the war protests all over the world. I'm not anti or pro war. In truth, I'm not anti or pro much. I firmly believe in live and let live or not. I read others' views and I am astounded by the strength of conviction others have. I am going to ramble to try to get my thoughts around what is going on. I came of age in the summer of love. I lost friends, one very dear to me, in Viet Nam. I was arrested back in '67 for being an organizer of a riot out in front of the police station in my home town. I hate the thought of war. Yet for this one I am very ambivalent. Two people I have met in Kuwait were human shields during the first Gulf War. One, an American, was captured mid-war and spent the rest of his time as a POW. The second, a Kuwaiti, was leaving his base to go home for the night and was captured on August 3, the day after the invasion of Kuwait. Whatever he suffered during his time as a shield has lived with him. He suffers from pituitary problems that are directly linked to his time in Iraq. I have met and lived with and talked with these men. Remembering their stories now, sickens me. The Kuwaiti is in the states now, he has been for the past year, trying to get his health in order so he can father a child. Well not only to become a father but that was an impetus for the trip to the U.S. The American is back in the states now, too. He left last August, because he was ready to retire. I think he is soon to be 60. In the few months he was in Iraq, he lost 40 kilos. Nearly 90 pounds in less than 5 months. This does not sound to me like he was living in a club med. Where is this going? I'm not sure. I have a fatalistic view of life. I don't know if this has always been my life view. What will happen will happen. A crude thought is that this is one heck of a population control method. Another is who cares about the Iraqis? They don't like where they are? They should get out. Some people will die, in the grand scheme of things what is that? All living things die. What makes this life worth living?
Sometimes I wish I could have faith in a higher power. I lost it years ago, and have never been able to get it back. This is the life you have to live, deal with it. The fact that the media the world over are broadcasting the war 'live' and people are watching, seems to me beyond belief. Some say they are not, but that also seems very hard to believe. The media have saturated the airwaves as well as the print sources. One can't turn around without hearing, seeing, reading about it. The morbid curiosity of humans would make it tempting to all but the most strong among us.
My thoughts are jumbled today. Perhaps because I am alone today. Master had to go into work. Some of this may get back to my family, most of it won't. My children, my babies, don't need to know their mother is suffering today. Master left with a gas mask in hand. He shaved His beard last night. I slept with a stranger. I've never seen Him beardless before. He said it was to make the gas mask fit better. A chilling thought. I am not afraid, I am sad.
It seems I am gathering a following of readers.
It is amazing to me how life goes on here. I have been saying to my family all along, that the war is in Iraq, not in Kuwait. In spite of that, I am surprised how normal everything seems. The traffic that passes the apartment today is nearly up to normal. Of course it is a work day. Master had an easy go of it to get to the base this morning. There was only one checkpoint on the way, right as He came onto the expressway. There were only 4 people there, but there were 12 cars. Evidently the police had some kind of information and it proved viable. I don't even want to know who belong to those cars. I made Master promise not to ride in a car with another male. I seem to becoming quite superstitious. I have become fixated on this one thing. If He rides with another man, something bad will happen to Him. This information will not go home to my family.
I am also amazed surprised angered by the attitudes of the newscasters and military analysts I see. Someone said they act as if they are enjoying this whole thing. I have to agree. For them, safe in their stations back in the real world, this is only a very long television program. They talk about silver linings and how wonderful each other' observations are. Using baseball analogies to get their point across. This is not one big sporting or entertainment event. This is not stuff television programs are made of. For many, this is life or death.
I have learned a valuable lesson, yet again. Do not leave any food item on the kitchen counter unless you are willing to share with the pet, in this case a big black dog. I have studied this lesson several times, I just can't seem to keep it in my head. I baked a chocolate cake, from scratch, for James. I made butter cream frosting, with real butter and whole milk. I remembered to close and lock the kitchen door while the cake was cooling. I forgot to do the same after I had frosted it. The dog, honest creature that he is, came into the computer room and barfed the cake and frosting he had devoured just to let me know what he had done . I guess there are two morals to this story, 1) if you leave homemade from scratch chocolate cake with homemade from scratch butter cream frosting on the kitchen counter, you had better be willing to share half of it with the dog. 2) If you leave homemade from scratch chocolate cake with homemade from scratch butter cream frosting on the counter and the dog gets half, be prepared to clean that half up off the computer room floor because he can't deal with the richness. Stoopid dog.
I can't be angry with the dog, no matter how hard I try. It was my fault. I left the door open and the cake on the counter. What can I say? It is the war, it makes us do strange things.
I kind of like the new man I'm living with. The one without the beard. I recognized Him right away because of His cute butt.
Master discovered the source of the excitement the other night. The missile landed in the water behind the fish market in Fahaheel. Windows in the bank were shattered as well as windows in the apartments in the Fahaheel complex. There is an empty Chinese restaurant behind us. Half the windows in the building were shattered too. Still don't know what kind or whose it was, though. Perhaps we never will. More omorrow.
Sometimes I wish I could have faith in a higher power. I lost it years ago, and have never been able to get it back. This is the life you have to live, deal with it. The fact that the media the world over are broadcasting the war 'live' and people are watching, seems to me beyond belief. Some say they are not, but that also seems very hard to believe. The media have saturated the airwaves as well as the print sources. One can't turn around without hearing, seeing, reading about it. The morbid curiosity of humans would make it tempting to all but the most strong among us.
My thoughts are jumbled today. Perhaps because I am alone today. Master had to go into work. Some of this may get back to my family, most of it won't. My children, my babies, don't need to know their mother is suffering today. Master left with a gas mask in hand. He shaved His beard last night. I slept with a stranger. I've never seen Him beardless before. He said it was to make the gas mask fit better. A chilling thought. I am not afraid, I am sad.
It seems I am gathering a following of readers.
It is amazing to me how life goes on here. I have been saying to my family all along, that the war is in Iraq, not in Kuwait. In spite of that, I am surprised how normal everything seems. The traffic that passes the apartment today is nearly up to normal. Of course it is a work day. Master had an easy go of it to get to the base this morning. There was only one checkpoint on the way, right as He came onto the expressway. There were only 4 people there, but there were 12 cars. Evidently the police had some kind of information and it proved viable. I don't even want to know who belong to those cars. I made Master promise not to ride in a car with another male. I seem to becoming quite superstitious. I have become fixated on this one thing. If He rides with another man, something bad will happen to Him. This information will not go home to my family.
I am also amazed surprised angered by the attitudes of the newscasters and military analysts I see. Someone said they act as if they are enjoying this whole thing. I have to agree. For them, safe in their stations back in the real world, this is only a very long television program. They talk about silver linings and how wonderful each other' observations are. Using baseball analogies to get their point across. This is not one big sporting or entertainment event. This is not stuff television programs are made of. For many, this is life or death.
I have learned a valuable lesson, yet again. Do not leave any food item on the kitchen counter unless you are willing to share with the pet, in this case a big black dog. I have studied this lesson several times, I just can't seem to keep it in my head. I baked a chocolate cake, from scratch, for James. I made butter cream frosting, with real butter and whole milk. I remembered to close and lock the kitchen door while the cake was cooling. I forgot to do the same after I had frosted it. The dog, honest creature that he is, came into the computer room and barfed the cake and frosting he had devoured just to let me know what he had done . I guess there are two morals to this story, 1) if you leave homemade from scratch chocolate cake with homemade from scratch butter cream frosting on the kitchen counter, you had better be willing to share half of it with the dog. 2) If you leave homemade from scratch chocolate cake with homemade from scratch butter cream frosting on the counter and the dog gets half, be prepared to clean that half up off the computer room floor because he can't deal with the richness. Stoopid dog.
I can't be angry with the dog, no matter how hard I try. It was my fault. I left the door open and the cake on the counter. What can I say? It is the war, it makes us do strange things.
I kind of like the new man I'm living with. The one without the beard. I recognized Him right away because of His cute butt.
Master discovered the source of the excitement the other night. The missile landed in the water behind the fish market in Fahaheel. Windows in the bank were shattered as well as windows in the apartments in the Fahaheel complex. There is an empty Chinese restaurant behind us. Half the windows in the building were shattered too. Still don't know what kind or whose it was, though. Perhaps we never will. More omorrow.