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ramble
i sort of felt like i was going to the last supper today. Spent the whole day at the beauty shop. Master is now officially on vacation and i wanted to be all smooth and clean for Him. i couldn't help thinking, though that i was preparing myself for ritual slaughter. Talk of war even in a 'women's' place.
i am listening to Powell's speech. The feeling of dread continues. i am not afraid for myself, now that there is a plan for evacuation. i am afraid for the world. There is so much evil and i don't understand why. i am not a religious person, i doubt the existence of a higher being, i lost my faith several lifetimes ago. i do know that i am not here to die at the whim of a group of madmen. i have to believe that good will win out. i am not going to run. i am not.
My second best childhood friend has told me to come home.
i love my daughter, she is the only one who is not putting pressure on me. We came through a lot together. She understands my feelings. She does not live on what if either. We both know there is no good in that. Son, on the other hand, is much more the worrier. Go figger that one.
First best childhood friend keeps saying she'd love to visit me in Texas, never really saying come home, just that she'd like to visit me in Texas.
The good news is one of the emir's relatives has become a colonel in the airforce. He is stationed at the base where Master is. He is going to fly F18s. The bad news is, He's a big man. i mean BIG man. Not extraodinarily tall, but big around. The cockpit of an F18 is not large. No one knows how or even if he will fit inside. But, because he is a direct relative of the emir, if he wants to fly, then fly he will. Wasta is beyond me.
What i was afraid of almost happened. As of Saturday, there will be only one American working where Master is. Everyone else is on leave. As Master was walking out today, that lone American tried to convince Master that He should voluntarily give up His leave. Master said no. The guy said who signed it? Why didn't they realize so many would be gone. The joke is on him. He signed the leave request. And Master's request came in before anyone else's. HA! i have Him now, for nine whole days.
i have made a resolution. i will not write sad or upsetting or depressing things in my journal for the next nine days. It does no one any good.
i am listening to Powell's speech. The feeling of dread continues. i am not afraid for myself, now that there is a plan for evacuation. i am afraid for the world. There is so much evil and i don't understand why. i am not a religious person, i doubt the existence of a higher being, i lost my faith several lifetimes ago. i do know that i am not here to die at the whim of a group of madmen. i have to believe that good will win out. i am not going to run. i am not.
My second best childhood friend has told me to come home.
i love my daughter, she is the only one who is not putting pressure on me. We came through a lot together. She understands my feelings. She does not live on what if either. We both know there is no good in that. Son, on the other hand, is much more the worrier. Go figger that one.
First best childhood friend keeps saying she'd love to visit me in Texas, never really saying come home, just that she'd like to visit me in Texas.
The good news is one of the emir's relatives has become a colonel in the airforce. He is stationed at the base where Master is. He is going to fly F18s. The bad news is, He's a big man. i mean BIG man. Not extraodinarily tall, but big around. The cockpit of an F18 is not large. No one knows how or even if he will fit inside. But, because he is a direct relative of the emir, if he wants to fly, then fly he will. Wasta is beyond me.
What i was afraid of almost happened. As of Saturday, there will be only one American working where Master is. Everyone else is on leave. As Master was walking out today, that lone American tried to convince Master that He should voluntarily give up His leave. Master said no. The guy said who signed it? Why didn't they realize so many would be gone. The joke is on him. He signed the leave request. And Master's request came in before anyone else's. HA! i have Him now, for nine whole days.
i have made a resolution. i will not write sad or upsetting or depressing things in my journal for the next nine days. It does no one any good.