Ever since i started this online journal i haven't liked exactly how it's been going. i guess it isn't just the online journal, it's both. i don't want to have a diary of my day. i want to write about things. The problem has been i haven't been able to think of anything to write about.
This morning Master waited for me to wake Him up. He told me to go to the bathroom, turn off the a/c, take the phone off the hook, and come back to bed. He used clothespins today. He said when He pulled the one off my clit, the only part of me still on the bed were my heels and shoulder blades. DUH!
Then, as i was coming down, He asked if i had ever written about how totally enslaved i am. i haven't. This is a topic i'm trying to get my head around, so that i can present it accurately. He also asked if i have ever written about what a pain slut i am. Another topic. i don't want this to be a 'scene' report, so it will have to be thunk on for awhile too. But two great topics, eh?
i've been thinking about sub space, too, but i would have to rely on Master's version of how i am. About the only thing i can say for sure is that sub space is sort of like dreams for me. i know i've had one, but can seldom remember what it was about. i know i've been in deep sub space, but i have no coginitive abilities when i'm there. i don't remember what i'm thinking of, i don't have any ideas, except from Master, as to what i do or say. Does that make it a meditative state? i don't know.
i have asked Master for help. This goes along with the thread on bdsmli. i have been riding for at least 30 minutes six out of the passed seven days. i have been very conscious of what food has gone into my body for the last seven days, too. Tomorrow, in the mornig, i'm going to weigh myself. i have asked Master to think up a suitable reward for me if i've lost any weight. i have also asked Him to come up with a suitable punishment if i haven't or, worse yet, i've gained anything. He didn't say i had to tell Him what i weigh, so i won't. And i will be honest about it.
The reward can't be a food treat, but it can be a picnic in the desert. Would you believe it's been raining for the passed 2 hours? A nice steady shower, not a gully washer. Go figger living in a desert country. Back to the desert. He came up to me in the kitchen and asked if food could be involved, hence the picnic. i hope it isn't raining still tomorrow. Although that could become a habit. The last time we went out it rained too.
Ate dinner on the balcony tonight and watched the storm roll in. And watched the night lights on the ships out by the pumping station. i mentioned to Master that as much as i like picnics in the desert, i hoped He wouldn't just use that as the 'reward' du jour each week. He said, no, He was already thinking ahead. He is such a good man. And He cleans up nice too.
Another topic for future reference. Is love a good component in a Master/slave relationship. Better pick the perfect time for that one, or i could be in a world of hurt.
i took the Africa batik and the banana bark art work into get them framed today. i went a bit overboard on the frames, but hey! this is my kids' inheritance. i'd better make it worth their while. They can be picked up on Sunday, or Saturday night. Master suggested i go into the office late on Sunday so i can stay for the afternoon classes. That work for me on two levels, three actually: no morning rush hour traffic, i can stop and get the art work, maybe even show it to the others and make them soooo envious (NOT), and i miss the afternoon rush hour traffic on the way home. i like this idea just fine.
Already i'm trying to envision a home for the new pieces. Maybe i will just have a Master/slave travel wall. The pieces from Amsterdam and the Kenya pieces. And whatever else i get when we are together. When i get them home i may find the new pieces don't particularly like being neighbors to the stuff from Amsterdam. Hanging art work is sort of like naming a kitten. You just have to wait awhile until the right name/home is found.
i don't remember for sure, but one of the women on the bdsmli list inspired me. Today Master and i went out to specifically run the errands we always say we will do the next time we are in the neighborhood, and the promptly forget. The paintings were one. We also went to the Iranian souk and bought two clay planters. Was it Bella or Varna who was so excited about an african violet, i think. Anyway. Christmas of 2000, Master brought home a pointsettia. It lived on the coffee table in the living room all year long. We put it in a dark place, as we both had heard was the thing to do if we wanted it to be beautiful for Christmas of 2001, but forgot how long and when to take it out. It was sure pretty at Valentine's Day.
This last Christmas, we bought two more pointsettias. So now we have them all planted in the clay planter we bought today. Then we bought three coleous plants also. We put them in the other planter. They look so pretty in the front room window. i suppose we have doomed them to death since we bought good soil, the planters, and even got some plant food spikes. i should know enough to ignore plants. Then they will live in spite of me. If these plants are still alive when i get back from the states in September, i believe i will call that corner the victory garden.
No iron tonight, but the toidy is calling.